So, You Want to Get Married ... Why?
I am what society likes to call a "millennial" aka a hot mess express generation. You see us "millennial's" see what we want and we go for it. We also see what we don't want and we drop it quicker than we can rationalize why. I love my generation because we are so passionate, but it somehow has become more like a curse than a blessing.
Social media is a big factor in how we play out our day to day lives. What we desire, what we wear, what we eat, and what we believe in is persuaded by what social media says is relevant at that time. One of the biggest trends I see is "relationship goals" and the constant quotes about wanting love, wanting a family, and wanting to get married. I can guarantee if I walked up to 95% of the people posting these things and ask them "why do they want to get married" they will say "well I want to be happy" or "I don't want to be lonely anymore". Allow me to break down why those answers are not a good reason to get married, and ultimately proves you are not ready to get married.
I want to be happy
The number one reason I have observed in regards to wanting to get married is the statement above. Every time I see it I want to scream "WHO TOLD YOU MARRIAGE WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY?!". Social media has given off this fake image that marriage is all sunshine and butterflies. Although I am not married I have enough friends who are and also from watching my parents .. you go through rough times and you aren't always going to be happy. People dies, financial hardships happen, you have children & children drive you nuts (lol), and there are so many other factors that can cause friction within a marriage. Nobody knows these things because they base their wants on pictures and television shows -- by the time they figure this out they are headed for a divorce because they didn't enter into marriage with a true commitment, they only wanted to be happy.
I don't want to be lonely anymore
Aaaah, this phrase y'all. Can I just shake you and say "GETTING MARRIED IS NOT GOING TO CURE YOUR LONELINESS" if anything it is going to fuel your insecurities and what used to be loneliness has now become an obsession and new identity aka your husband/wife. You have to know your assignment on this earth before you think about marriage. If you are secure in your identity when you get married you will really lose yourself after you say I do.
Marriage is a ministry not a tool used to make you happy, cure your loneliness, or boost your ego. Before the desire to say "I do" takes over your life make sure you have these things checked off:
- Know who you are and whose you are in Christ
- Make sure you are happy and secure being alone
- Seek God on what your assignment is and begin to move in that
- Don't make marriage your idol. If it is now begin to pray and seek ways to let it go
- Pray, pray, and pray some more so you are prepared to hear God's yes or no when you meet your future spouse.
I urge you to begin to study what marriage really means through God and not from the world's point of view and stay tuned because I will be going in depth on that topic within another blog post. Until then here are some scriptures, blog posts, and youtube vid's to check out on the subject.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5)