The Bride Series: The Frustrated-Faithful Bride
"I am sooooo tired of doing everything right and still nothing is going right. I mean come on God I have given up everything to follow you, I gave up the only man I truly ever loved, I gave up my friends, I gave up all of my dreams to follow you and here I am feeling worse than before. I have been walking with you for over 5 years and I still have yet to find another man, I barely have any friends, I don't have the best job because I quit school to follow your path and honestly I'm tired. I need a breakthrough NOW or I quit."
Were the words spoken by Marissa who gave up everything to follow the call God put on her life. Marissa was a 20 year old pre-med college student with a 4.0 GPA . Her dream was to become a cardiologist, be married to the man of her dreams by the age of 25, have her first child by the age of 27, and she was determined to do just that.. until she found Jesus.. Or shall we say he found her!
It happened on a Wednesday night. Marissa was invited to a church service by her best friend where the pastor preached on "The Bride: God's love for you". The message touched Marissa so deeply that she laid at the altar and sobbed. That night she felt the overwhelming love of God and committed her life to going where he told her to go, doing so never looking back.
Within the following weeks after committing her life to God she broke up with her then boyfriend (whom she had been with for over 2 years) vowing to never date again but to court God's way also becoming abstinent, she dropped out of school, and began spending hours sitting before the Throne of God. When he gave her instruction she never thought twice about it but immediately obeyed.
Fast forward to 5 years later we find Marissa pleading with God and growing weary. Over the past 5 years she has now become the youth pastor at her church part-time and doing retail management part-time as well. She's never gone hungry and her bills are paid but she's making nowhere near the amount of money she could be if she would've stayed in medical school. She has been in two courting relationships where she was very intentional about seeking God in pursuing both and both failed. She has wonderful sisters in Christ but sometimes longs for someone who she can just be open to about some of her struggles. She still loves God with all of her heart but right now she's feeling like she's ready for the next step.
She's been faithful to God and he has been faithful to her but now she wants more because she has been doing it the right way.
How many of us can relate to Marissa? I know I can!
Following the call God placed on your life is the most amazing thing you could ever do but what happens when you feel like you've been faithful on your end and God has been faithful to you but you still long for more.
Recently I went through this very situation. I found myself laying on my bed sobbing, pouring out my heart to God "Father I've been so faithful to you, I have been doing everything you've asked of me.. why do these situations keep falling through?!" It was at that very moment that I heard a quiet whisper speak back to me "My daughter, if I never ever gave you another thing would you still be satisfied with just having me? Am I not enough for you.. haven't I been faithful in the small things concerning your life. There are things I am working out right now on your behalf but you have to be still enough in order for me to bring it forth. Why do you get so caught up in the things you feel like your missing. If only you could see what I have kept you from. What you think I am with-holding from you is actually my protection. For if I gave you all that you desired right now would you cherish it? How can I show you my faithfulness if you don't allow me to be faithful to you. Don't get so caught up on the timeline of life for 1000 years to you is but a second to me. I am a God of suddenly and I do not move in the way you see here on this earth but I go before you and prepare every place your feet land. So don't grow weary my love but continue to trust me for in due time you will reap the harvest."
So I leave you with this.
If God never came through with the things you thought you wanted but only gave you what you needed would you still be faithful to him?
Is he enough for you?
Are you trying to rush the seasons in your life that God has slowed down for your protection?
Are you comparing your life to other Sisters in Christ, envying where they are not knowing the seasons they may have gone through that you didn't get to see.
What Marissa didn't see is that God had already accomplished every dream she had long before she began her walk with him. No she was not a cardiologist (a doctor with special training and skill in finding, treating, and preventing diseases of the heart and blood vessels) but she worked on hearts everyday through her ministry. Treating hearts filled with rejection, hurt, addiction, and brokenness replacing it with a new heart filled with love, joy, peace, and a throne room where The Father has made his home. Although she was not married to the man of her dreams here on this earth she gained an even better husband who takes care of her daily, loves her beyond her understand, and will never leave her. She may not have been pregnant and carried any babies but she gained many children throughout her youth group. She was blessed with many sons and daughters who all looked up to her as a second mother. If only Marissa could truly see just how faithful God has truly been to her.
So Don't give up! He has you right where he needs you to be. Continue to listen to his voice and cherish his direction. I am praying for you and your strength. It wont always be easy but it is worth it I PROMISE. He has his hands on you and he won't ever leave your side. Even during the times where you feel like he's distant. Cling to his promises for you life and be satisfied just being HIS.