Is It Time To Take A Break..

Dear Diary,

I know there has been a lot of personal up's and down's in my life recently and I am continuously battling through it. I feel like it is time to take a break and refocus. I am trying to build this business and touch lives. In the midst of it all I have lost focus of myself and my relationship with God. I cannot have anything or build anything without a sound foundation and that is rooted in my relationship with Christ. Everyday is a battle but everyday is a gift of grace from God. 

Who am I to put anything or anyone before the love of my life. I would be a fool and Alexa is no fool. 

 

Falling Short? A lot on my mind...

Dear Diary,

Lately I've been feeling like I am falling short. You know when you just have a bad week emotionally. My mind has been going nonstop all week with worrisome thoughts. Why I allow myself to get like this when I know better? Yes I know I know!! This just goes to show that no matter how much you feel like you have it together you can still come short. Perfection is not what I am aiming for but I want to do everything with excellence. There is nothing I can't conquer and this too shall pass.

 

Whoever you are reading this .. remember "it is only temporary and you have the victory!"

The Next Best Thing.

Dear Diary,

Building a small business is not easy. I have so many ideas and things I want to share with the world. I just want to help this generation be heard. The problem with my generation is that we don't stay committed for long. We are always looking for the next best thing. This is both a gift and a curse.

I have found my thing and it is up to me to make it everything I want it to be.

Commit!

Let's Take Off.

Dear Diary,

It seems like things are taking off and I am more than excited about everything. There was a season where I felt like things would never happen. Although I am currently still working through a lot I am grateful. Everyday is a faith walk but I wouldn't trade this past season for anything in this world. It is molding me into who I need to be in this upcoming season.

 

Let's take off!! 

In the Midst ...

Dear Diary,

There is always a struggle with what I want to do and what God wants me to do; not because I want to do what I want to do more, but what I want to do always seems much more logical. That's the beauty in trusting God though. Although, in the back of my mind I always somehow find myself wanting to revert to what seems safe in the midst of what can sometimes seem like the most mysterious time of my life .. I don't & I wont.

I can't let what looks like the safe zone keep me from what truly is "the safe zone" aka God's voice, direction, and his will for my life.

I was not called to live a life of fear, but I also wasn't called to live a life where I know what is about to happen every single step of the way. I was however called to live a life of faith devoted to God and as long as I am walking with him I am constantly in the midst of what will be the greatest adventure with him and life full of purpose. 

Finally found where I belong. 

It's Now or Never

Dear Diary

I am officially 25. Woooosaah! It is definitely go time. It's time for me to let go of remnants of doubt or fear I had left, any exceptions, and any failures that try to hold me back. I feel like 25 is going to be the year everything sets off. 24 was the prepping and finishing of the fire. This year is go time! 

No fear. No worrying. No disappointments. 

Lex

Almost 25: What Happened to My Plans?

Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up with the realization that in ONE WEEK I will be turning 25; I don't know why it's hitting me so hard, but it is. Growing up I remember dreaming about the day I turned 16, then 18, and then came 21. Y'all know how that is. I remember making all of these plans "by 25 I will be married, with my bachelors degree, a house, and living down south traveling the world. 

So much for those plans!

Alexa, you are turning 25 and going into this season a single woman, no kids, although I am working on my business I did't finish my degree, I still live in Ohio, and all the places I "planned" to be I am not there.

Do I feel bad about it?

NO! 

I am exactly where God needs me to be. Walking in my purpose and God's plan's are far better than I could ever imagine. I'd rather be in this place than where my plans would've had me any day. 

The Unknown Can be Frustrating

Dear Diary,

The unknown can be frustrating, and I'm learning that more and more everyday. There's a release when you put your trust in God completely and one of the biggest struggles is letting go and walking in that release. There is an excitement/peace in knowing you are in The Fathers hands so it's not scary, BUT my mind still tends to wonder "where will I be two years from now"? 

I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE... 

Dear Brothers and Sisters

My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Another tragedy among-st God's children leaves us all wounded and broken. It seems like it's one thing after another and all things point back to division. The devil is keeping us busy; he came to kill and steal and destroy (John 10:10), he's doing just that. 

I feel like he has us like puppets on a string and as long as he keeps ambushing us with tragedy after tragedy it gives us no time to truly understand whats going on. We've begun to act off of emotion and fear. Even our means of "protection" on this earth has been infiltrated with this spirit.

I am the product of a black man and my brothers, uncles, and cousins are black men; my best friends are black men. But I am also the product of a God who is searching the earth for one's who will stand up, who will not act off of emotions but watch and listen for his instructions. Although we are in this world we are not of this world (2 Corinthians 10:3) .


Don't let the devils ambush attacks get you off of you're guard. No life is ours to take and no life is ours to give. These tragedies aren't about you and I but a bigger meaning. If only you can see the battles going on in the spirit realm would you understand that what we see is a glimpse, we've never actually seen the whole picture.

We are not fighting each other but the spirit of division and oppression. We have to open our eyes brothers and sisters. Although we are wounded, scarred, and scared and it feels like we have to walk around with masks on our face, and that God has forgotten about his people, he hasn't. 

Fear is the main ingredient and the only way to drive out fear is love. When you fear something you are only at peace when you are able to defeat it by extinguishing it. Stand up for each other, love each other, unify each other. It's time to show the devil he cannot and will not win. We have the power to defeat him within us.

Lets stand together,

Alexa Gabrielle

Me Too

Dear Diary,

I just want to tell my story. I want to help people see that they are not alone; I want people to hear "me too" in the depths of my words. Am I making things to difficult. I feel like when I try too hard it complicates EVERYTHING, and then I just want to give up.

I just need to take a breath and know it's not that complicated.

Frustration With the World!

Dear Diary,

With all the recent attacks and events I find myself frustrated with The Christian Community. I'm frustrated for two reason:

  1. We expect the world to understand us and walk with us when we weren't created to do so. 
  2. The opportunities we have to win souls for Christ when things go bad we quickly destroy with judgement and criticism instead of love. 

Maybe I should elaborate more on these two things in a blog post and not here. If people just read the above statement they probably wouldn't understand. 

Soooo yeah, I think I will do that. 

Perceptions of Strength? 12.08.2015

Tuesday
12/8/15
10:00PM

Dear Diary,

Have I been doing this thing wrong the whole time? Has my perceptions of STRENGTH been my WEAKNESS??! Has the very thing I seen as being my act of obedience and sacrifice truly been what's keeping me stagnant this whole time?

Is this not where I lay "IT" down but where I lay ME down & not rush to get back up?

I have reached the end of my wilderness & this is my last step before my promise land! And I will not continue to go in circles or fight the process.

Worrying, Praying Woman?

Dear Diary,

These past few days I have been fighting to gain my momentum back. It's been hard adjusting from working full-time, making enough money to be comfortable, and now I am not so comfortable. I wrote out a financial plan to pay every credit card I have off and close them out for good. 

God has been working on me in the area of finances big time! 

I vow to stick to this plan and be 100% debt free (excluding school loans) by the end of this year. Which is 100% attainable if I stay focused and disciplined. 

Maybe I should get a second job just for now.. am I doubting God's ability to continue to provide......

I don't want to be a worrying, praying woman.

UGH!

Decisions...............

- Alexa Gabrielle

Make Over!

Dear Diary

Currently the time is 12:08 AM and I am up working on this website. As I make over VirtuousBeautyxo.com I feel like I have been making over myself as well. Doing a lot of self evaluation and spending time alone, away from social media and the outer influences of others I have come to realize that some of the things I thought I wanted I truly don't need right now and am honestly not ready for it. God is still molding me into his image and I trust the process but I had begun to get discouraged and almost gave up. 

Sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me. 

But I am thankful that God knows me better than I know myself. And I trust him more than I trust myself. I don't fear what the future holds and I know in him I lack nothing.

Now I have to remember that when I feel like nothing is going right.. 

- Alexa Gabrielle